Use Your Manners

I will never stop giving dudes who message me online grief about not introducing themselves when they message me.

I have my email addy listed online because I might be needed by family members or friends that need to reach out to me. (That’s how I found my uncle and had a long ago friend find me.) But, that does not give just any ol’ body the go-ahead to send me “hook-up” messages.

It irritates me to no end to get a message that simply says some nonsense like, “hey ma, hit me up and lets see if it do what it do”…or some other ridiculous nonsense. That’s the kind of ignorant mess that brings out the smart-ass in me…without fear of rejection…without fear of retaliation…without shame…without care…without apology. Since I’m not the one who initiated the conversation to begin with, I could care less than less if the conversation continued or progressed into something else.

I stop short of simply telling dudes, “Fxxx you!” because I do have a much more extensive vocabulary than that, yeah. But, for real, it gets really hard to hold myself back sometimes.

Just because you’re trying to hook up online does not mean one gets to abandon his/her mannerisms. If you were to meet someone on the street, in the “real” world, you wouldn’t automatically just walk up to that person and start “tonguing them down” in the middle of “Market Street” would you? Hmmm… I think not. (Well, as a dude, I’m sure there are women you’ve WANTED to do that to, but, ya know…LOL) You would introduce yourself and you would at the damn least, get that person’s name.

Women today really make it kind of extra easy for guys to get the digits (and the cookie). There’s no standard anymore for dudes to follow. There’s no precedent they are required to follow, to meet, before they can get passed the hello stage. I think that stuff only happens in books these days.

Not that I care, but when I put my foot down and demand that these online guys try to use the manners their parents/guardians/whatever raised them with, I usually don’t hear anything else from them. Or, I get called bitter, or harsh, or not serious, or any combination of these and more. And the guy then stops trying to “get at me to see if it do what it do.” No sweat off my back, but I want to know:

What happened to the days when guys stepped up to a chick (in person or online) and just said, “Hi, my name is ___. I’d like to get to know you?” Are those days gone, never to return?

Has life, and the circumstances surrounding it gotten to be so fast and so rude that we’ve abandoned the basic principles of life?

Are we so eager to please and be accepted that we would lay down our own standards; that we would lay down our own desires, to accept just any old thing that came at us?

My mama used to tell me all the time that I speak life…That what I say verbally could either help me or hurt me. And in turn, I always say, that maybe God has me single for a reason. And she says that by saying that I’m keeping myself single.

I don’t know how that really goes, but I do know this: The Lord won’t let me relax my standards just so I can have a man. The one who will be mine, will either come correct, or will be willing to be corrected without an attitude about it.

There is no halfway.


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