Who’s Advice Are You Minding?

I did not watch the ABC News Special which featured Steve Harvey, Jacque Reed, Sherri Shepherd, and Hill Harper. I’m going off other sources when I say that this show’s focus was on why (or how) black women could not “find a man.”
I did, however read the book that Steve Harvey wrote, “Act Like a Lady, Think Like a Man.” And, I also read the article by Dr. Boyce Watkins in the Beaumont Black Newsletter I receive online…(see it somewhere here at www.beaumontblack.net).
He brought out a very good point, Dr. Watkins did. He asked, straight point blank: “Why are black women taking advice from Steve Harvey?” Then he said, “If we are taking relationship advice from a comedian and our relationship turns into a joke, who do we blame in the end?”
I liked both of these particular questions because they simply make sense. Why ARE women taking relationship advice from Steve Harvey? Or from any other man at that? I mean, I know that men, being able to get into the heads of other men, might be able to pass on small gems of wisdom to women about what men really want, but remember that saying that goes something like “What works well for one might not work so well for another?” Steve Harvey, and other men, can really only tell you what works for him, personally,  and just because that works for him does not mean that the next Joe Blow you meet is going to take kindly to those same actions. It might just blow up in your face.
I think that women who take their blueprints, so to speak, on building a relationship from any guy loses the ability to use her own common sense, judgment, and overall free will.
We, as women, are so focused (some of us, sometime) on what we have to do to get, and ultimately keep, a man, I believe that we overlook the stuff that could actually, quite possibly work, because that was against some other dude’s suggestion and advice.
Do we need a blueprint? Being single, I’m going to whisper “yeah, we probably do.”
But, I can’t really speak for other women, so I’m going to stick to leaving this on my own shoulders. I probably need a blueprint. And the best one I can come up with is the one that is embedded in the Bible.
Being a Christian woman, believe me when I tell you that I fall short so very often. I try, but as humans tend to do, I succeed more in disappointing myself, God, and sometimes even those around me. But, there is one thing I can say I succeed at more often than I fail at it (although I fall short here at times, too.): I obey the Golden Rule that commands us to “Do unto others as we would have them do unto us.”
Now, this may not get me very far in the “man/woman” relationship department (I don’t get many chances in this department to begin with), but in the everyday people relationship department, I’m batting 90/100! (LOL)
I believe that if everyone started there, the relationship gurus would soon either be out of business, or would be able to give BETTER advice based on that simple recipe.
Begin by treating men the way we, as women, would prefer to be treated.
Contrary to popular belief, men do have feelings, just like women. Men would prefer to be treated, and regarded, as if their brains, their minds, are appreciated along with their bodies, their brawn, and their ability to provide material stimulation to the women who claim to want them.
When we as women, start listening to what’s going on in our own heads and hearts (and the voices and actions of the men we’re with) , instead of the talking heads on the TV, the pictured heads in magazines, and speaking voices on the radio (AND the not-so-uncommon and often misguiding and misleading voices of our friends and families) we’d start to get along with our men better and would probably be able to sustain more stable and longer lasting relationships.


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