What Did You Call Me?

I don’ t watch a lot of TV.
Not that it matters to anyone but me, but here’s my usual weekly line up….
Mondays: Monday Night Football
Tuesdays: NCIS
Wednesdays: Law & Order: SVU (and Undercover, if I remember)
Thursdays: The Mentalist
Fridays the TV is lucky if I turn it on at all.
Saturdays the TV is mostly ignored (unless there’s a marathon on or I decide to watch some cable TV.)
Sundays: Football until 8pm

That’s it. (The summer gets hardly any TV watching time from me, unless The Daughter is home and turns it on.)
I never watch the news. I do not ever watch “reality shows” and I don’t do talk shows. Absolutely NO Oprah, no court TV, no Wendy Williams, no Monique….None of that.

I keep up with the current events that interest me through online news venues such as CNN.com, KFDM.com, or Yahoo! News.

So, when I say I don’t know who Jawn Murray is, please believe that I do not exaggerate.

My online home place of comfort is Twitter, (sometimes, I try Facebook, but I don’t like it like I like Twitter).

Friday morning, I saw posted, on Twitter, a petition for this person, Jawn Murray to be required to issue an apology to the women of the African-American community for calling them “militant” and “nappy-headed” (see the story here: http://act.ly/2jl).

Now, we know that this blog is a spin-off of the actual situation, so let me just get right into that.

This petition (which I haven’t read and/or signed) is calling for this person to apologize to the African-American community for calling the women “out of their names” basically. I have two questions: 1) Is this Jawn Murray a white person? And if so, is Jawn Murray a male person? And 2) Exactly why is an apology being demanded by women, when women by design, call THEMSELVES much worse things than this Jawn person?

You see, all the B-words, sluts, whores, hoes, heifers, and all those other derogatory words women bestow on themselves and their female friends and counterparts are just as inexcusable as this Jawn person’s “militant” and “nappy-headed”.
(Personally, running my hands through my hair this afternoon, I can’t even front like this Jawn person was too far off the mark…At least this person is more dead on than another chick who would call me a B—h, or whore.)

I remember that time that radio guy called that girl basketball team “nappy-headed” and something else that I can’t remember and dude had damn near the whole nation jumping down his throat. He had people who freely call women other names than he used; more names than I’d previously pointed out, wanting to punch him in the mouth for the “blatant disrespect” that he’d shown towards those girls.

But, I say this: How (and why) can you get SO offended by one person’s choice of words when you verbally disrespect yourselves on a daily basis? You constantly mistreat yourself and the women around you whom you address daily by calling yourselves anything other than the queens you are; the women you profess to be; the rulers/leaders/strong black women you are. And you do so in a public manner. I read blogs, tweets, emails from women who BARELY respect themselves in their manner of speech towards their own selves and it really irritates the shyt outta me.

For women to protest what someone else says, is like Black people as a whole complaining about other people calling us the N-word, when the N-word is tossed around more endearingly than “baby”, “sweetheart”, and “love”.
As a people, or a gender of people, you cannot tell everyone else the old “Do as I say do, but don’t do what I do.” Our parents tried that and failed on so many levels. If you don’t want to be verbally disrespected, you have to begin by showing that you’re not going to be verbally disrespecting yourself. There are something like 450,000 (or more, but that’s the last count I saw) words in the English language, it ought to be pretty easy to substitute a negative word for a less than negative word–for ANY occasion.

No matter how I feel I may act, I would never ever consciously call myself the b-word. I like myself way too much to call myself a hoe/whore. (But, as much as I say that…I WILL call myself and/or another woman a “heifer”…if I want to say something more stronger than that…) I hate the b-word. It demeans a woman so much, it almost overshadows any and all accomplishments she’s ever obtained in her life. It lowers her to dogs, absolutely and completely. And God did not intend for us to ever be that low.

How could one woman, knowing the struggles and fights that we have to face on a daily basis, call another woman who goes through the SAME struggles, so far out of her name but then turn around and be just plumb indignant when someone else uses a blanket statement to call African-American women “militant” and “nappy-headed” or any other word women would used themselves to describe each other?
(Does anyone even know what the context was where those insults were used? Does it matter to anyone but me?)

Let me just say and I’m done: I cannot get upset about what someone calls me, whether to my face, behind my back, or in a blanket statement, grouping me in with other women like me. I cannot get upset because it’s really NOT my problem. I read a tweet the other day that said something like “What someone else thinks/says about me is NONE of my business.” I cannot agree more with that statement. That is just too true. I can’t worry about it because I have my own business to be more concerned with.

As long as I keep MY place and continue to show respect to women like me and around me, I don’t care how someone else feels. They won’t stop me from doing what I’m going to do, no matter what they call me.

I hope the person who started that petition against this Jawn Murray person gets whatever s/he needed out of it in the end.


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