Wow!!! I Didn’t Know That

Have you ever had someone come into your life and make a difference in your life without you even knowing it?

Y’all remember those “season” ppl? Those that come for a reason and/or a season, and leave without so much as a goodbye, sometime, but in their absence you’ve learned something about yourself that you probably wouldn’t have known before if they would never have shown up?

Well, I’ve met (and actually acknowledged) one such person.

I’m talking about this guy who waltzed into my life and I couldn’t stop thinking about him for a long while back then. I wanted to stop, but I couldn’t seem to do so for more than 30mins at a time. Pathetic, I know!

Regarding him, I’m so thankful that God brought us together, however briefly, b/c dude, or rather the encounter with dude (we’ll call him “King” instead of dude) had gotten me to learn some things about myself…not just learn them, but to acknowledge and accept them as well.

When I was younger (I’m 35 now, so younger wasn’t that long ago, LOL), I used to think that certain things a chick could do or become was clingy, needy, and just downright baby-ish…to me those things should have been (probably are/is) a complete turn-off to men and so I struggled not to become and/or do those things. I tried to be (and maybe accomplished a bit more than well) independently strong….. Hmmm, well………………………Yeah, and moving on.

Today, for me, I find that some of those same things have snuck up on me and I am that, or I am those things.
Like if a dude says he’s gonna call me later, dammit, I expect the dude to call me later that same damn day. Not days later, not weeks later, and certainly not not at all later!

Simply put, I need communication! I REQUIRE communication on a constant basis IF dude expresses an interest in me. And if I express an interest in him and he’s not interested…then COMMUNICATE that shyt too! If a dude says he’s interested in me, I need him to prove it. Proving it is not hard; just call/text every now and again to let ME know that you’re thinking about me and are, in fact, interested. If you just wanna screw, then say that shyt too. I know that women, a lot of them, say they wanna hear the truth from dude but then when they are faced with it they start tripping about it, but that’s just not me. On the real……..It’s never that damn serious to be trippin about anything a dude tells me unless we get married or some shyt…and I’m so freaking cynical that it probably won’t even be that damn serious then either……(That’s that independently strong suit I have.)

I am actually that chick that needs a bit of constant (not DAILY) but almost constant confirmation that dude is as interested as he says he is…in the beginning of a potential relationship.

And , if I tell you that I need this communication, if you’re really and truly interested, then I need you to take my need into consideration and act accordingly.
King told me when we first met that he wasn’t big on talking. He said he was a “good listener”….Okay, I thought I got that…not big on talking. But I thought that meant he talked, just not a lot…you know, SOME. Somehow, I missed the part where one holds the phone while the other pulls teeth and drags a conversation out by the hair of my chinny-chin-chin!!!!! That shyt is damned irritating, let me tell you!! I was even going so far as to look up how to hold a conversation with one who doesn’t talk much….You kinda can’t get to know someone when they don’t talk back….Yeah, I know……PATHETIC!!!!!! SMH at my own damned self!

Anyway, I digress. That’s completely off the topic!

Communication. I found out that I need/want/require communication from a guy I’m interested in and who expresses an interest in me.

Touching! OMG!!! I am so in LOVE with being touched, caressed, rubbed!!!! And I used to think I hated that shyt! What a fool I was!!!!
King would rub his hands (soft hads for a dude who works with his hands) down the side of my face and neck and I found out that that touch excited me so! Not just sexually, but mentally. IDKY, it just does. Makes me think abt what the touch COULD mean….retarded shyt like that. (I already take care of my skin, but it makes me wanna step up the care, ya know?) And I love, love when dude rubs his hands down my legs!! I keep’em shaved just so my skin is free to get the full effect of the caress.

And when I’m about to go to sleep……..I like to be held close. His chin on my shoulder, the top of my head (whateva) and his arm draped over my side. I like to lay on his chest, listening to his heart beating, with his arms wrapped around me.

Yes, ppl…I’ve discovered that I am a snuggler/cuddler!! I like to snuggle/cuddle; to play footsies while lying around watching the telly, or listening to music, or just talking, or on my way to sleep. (Yep, I keep the pedi tight too!)

But then…I’ve also discovered something else: Once I’m actually asleep, I have to break away from the snuggle/cuddle…cuz I don’t like to actually be touched in my sleep. (I knew this part already). When I’m sleeping, I don’t like to be touched at all. I will not get any sleep if I’m touched, snuggled or whateva. I’m gonna break away from the embrace, turn my back and sleep untouched. Again IDKY, I just do that. (But, I’m not adverse to being awakened in the middle of the night by a touch, no….LOL)

Kissing. I like kissing for no damned reason at all!! I like to just be kissed straight outta the blue….just cuz. I like to feel his lips on mine knowing its just b/c he knows he can kiss me and I’m gonna kiss him back. I like to run my tongue across his lips. I like the feeling of our tongues in a sexy battle in our mouths….Mmmm….I just like kissing, there’s not even a good way to describe that!

Those are some things I learned about myself when King was brought into my life. Communication, touching, snuggling/cuddling, and kissing. (I already knew the kissing part sorta….LOL)

Relationship-wise, these are things I REQUIRE. Otherwise, I’m not gonna be very happy.

(King, God bless him (seriously I MEAN that) couldn’t connect with me on the communication bit, although he had everything else DOWN!!, and I think we both took it a lil more personally than the situation actually called for…..But, I’m still glad to have met King, otherwise I would never have found these things out about myself….I wouldn’t know that in the future, what I was requiring from dudes (other than VERY satisfactory nookie!!! LOL) when it came to intimacy in a relationship.

So, tell me….have you ever met someone who taught you something about yourself that you didn’t know that you didn’t know?? ((LOL))

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