Have you ever gotten caught up in your own mess by accident?
Well, that’s a stupid question. If it’s your mess, of course you’ve gotten caught up in it. Let me clean it up and explain……..
Early last week, I read this blog that mentioned how dudes will sort of determine if they’re going to have a relationship with a chick depending on how long the chick makes them wait for the nookie. It made me think of how we could end up planning one thing, but then end up getting caught up in a completely different thing.
Say you, a woman (because I’ve got to speak from personal experience like I always do), meet this dude. You sorta like him, but right off the bat, you know (because he’s either straight said so, or indicated through other things said) that even though you know dude is interested in you, he’s more interested in just hitting it. And, of course, let’s be honest, you’re mildly MORE interested in him hitting it, than you are in actually liking this dude. Although, you really sorta kinda do really like this guy.
So, you tell yourself that you’ll be fine with just hitting it. It’s not like the “like” you feel for him is all that damn serious. And you really wanna hit it. So, you devise this plan: Since you really wanna explore the nookie region with this guy, you’ll just involve yourself with him for that reason. And for a while, things go great. Dude’s not pressing you for anything else. The nookie’s really really good. And the semi-relationship you guys share is pretty good.
But then…………………… Something happens. Something throughout the semi-relationship is said, done, or not done, and things begin to change…for you. Your semi-relationship is still good. Your nookie relationship is still really really good. And dude is still not pressing for anything else. But yet, something changes. You change. Your emotions begin to slip. You start noticing things about your semi-dude that’s making you wonder why you don’t have more. This isn’t bad per se, but it’s bad because you totally were not expecting anything like that to happen.
You done got caught up in ya own mess.
What is bad about that is, even though you tried to lie to yourself about it earlier, you KNEW you’d end up liking this dude more than you and/or he meant. Now you’re stuck with what to do: You don’t know how to tell him that you’re on the verge of losing your grip on your “non-attached” emotions, and you’re really worried that above all else, if you tell him, he’s going to stop bringing you the nookie. WOW
Dilemma: You are REALLY starting to like him, but you’ve been really, really liking his sex.
What do you do? Because now you want him AND his sex. You want that semi-relationship to begin blossoming into something else. But…you don’t want the nookie to stop, in case he isn’t feeling the same way.
You done got caught up in ya own mess.
(I believe that men end up in this same predicament, but just won’t admit it. They’d never tell for fear of some misguided thought of “image defamation”. I believe that they get caught up, too, though.)
What do you, woman, do though, when you realize what’s happened?
You run to talk to everyone you can, except the guy who’s involved.
You get all the advice that’s out there to be gotten. You still don’t go talk to the guy involved.
You contemplate scenarios and have one-sided conversations in your heard with the guy involved, but you never talk to the man himself.
Hell, you’ll even try to “snap yourself out of it” by dating other men, sexing other men, not contacting the guy involved; forcing yourself to think of anything but the guy involved.
Until you do….(because, face it, we’re women. Eventually, we HAVE to talk to dude, or we’d go crazy.)
And what happens?
Well, if you’re lucky, things don’t change. Dude says he understands, but doesn’t elaborate on that, nor does he go running, screaming in the other direction. NOTHING changes. Y’all go on with your semi-relationship with the great nookie, and you continue to try to get a hold on to your budding emotions.
If you’re really lucky, dude says he understands, and may even feel a lil bit of what you’re talking about and is willing to take the semi-relationship a step further into actual relationship-status and see what happens.
If you’re SOL (shyt-outta-luck) dude ain’t having no parts to that kinda relationship and everything comes to a screeching, heart-breaking, emotion killing, confidence shattering halt (for you).
And that’s when you either become upset and/or “bitter”: wanting to blame dude for his seemingly uncaring & using ways. Or, you become some sort of equivalent of the dude who NEVER lets his emotions get turned on and start screwing dudes for the hell of it.
But, the blame can only be yours to be had. You knew from jump that your feelings might could possibly change messing with this dude you sorta kinda liked from the start, but you were trying to play a game that most women fail at even attempting. You tried to be slick, and ended up caught up in your own mess.
Trying to get out of your own mess is just about the hardest thing one can do. Why? Because to get out of the mess requires one to be completely honest with oneself. And since you tried to deny your true feelings to begin with, you can see that being completely honest with yourself is already a dead deal. When you should’ve been honest at the start, you’ve now got to make up for it in the end, but you don’t want it to be the end. What to do, what to do?
I’m asking you. I’m already caught up in my own mess. LOL