I read this comment (about what kind of relationship advice one would pass on to her fellow sistergirl…) on Facebook that said something like: “It’s no one’s job to make you happy. Happiness comes from within. It is your job to make your partner happy…” I’m not sure if the comment said something else because I was floored by the previous contradiction.
My thoughts on this comment was this: If I can’t depend on someone else to make me happy, then how is it they can depend on me to make them happy?
Seriously?? I’m to be responsible for everyone else’s happiness AND my own? How is this fair??
Well, it’s not!!! My point to this blog is this:
STOP!!! STOP giving people jacked up damned advice!!!
STOP!!! STOP taking people’s jacked up damned advice!!!
In relationships AND life, two types of advice I will ever give are:
1) Live your life for YOU! If you feel right doing it…if your conscious is clear doing it…if you think you and your Higher Power will have a discussion about it later………………………then baby, DO YOU! STOP taking everyone’s “love,” “relationship,” and “life” advice (read: instructions).
Can’t no one answer for you but YOU.
Can’t no one deal with the consequences of your choices/mistakes but YOU.
So, why you go running to your girlfriends, homeboys, parents, counselors, & pastors/teachers for what THEY think YOU should do in YOUR situation? Live your life for you. EVERYONE’S advice ain’t even advisable! It’s not a “one-size fits all” kinda life; you might can fit in someone else’s shoes, but that don’t mean it’s ALWAYS going to be comfortable.
ADVICE: LIVE YOUR LIFE FOR YOU!
2) I’m not IN a relationship, don’t be ASKING me for my advice about what to do in your relationship! Don’t be TAKING advice from my single behind. In your relationship, do whatever works for, and feels right to you. Stop letting other people guide you and then when stuff blows up in your face (or works great for you) you end up giving blame (or credit) to somebody else.
IE: “Jamie told me to do this with Bob and now Bob HATES me! (Notice how Bob “hates” YOU and NOT Jamie?)
Or, “Jamie told me to do this with Bob and now Bob and I are happy. (Do you REALLY wanna owe your happiness to some outside influence in your life/relationship?)
In the end……
JUST DO YOU!